Seeking Comfort
by Jaylie12
Summary: A quick one-shot that provides some backstory for the next Gleefly "episode." I meant to get the next installment out sooner, but alas, it was not to be. So, hopefully, soon.


Ficlet: Seeking Comfort (Harmony 'verse)  
Pairing: Anderbros of the familial nature. Brittana. Others later.  
Rating: PG-13, for a gun. I'm old-fashioned, deal with it.  
Disclaimers: No infringement intended. My pinyin translation is probably not correct. Feel free to ask if you need translation.  
A/N/: This is a quick one-shot that provides some backstory for the next Gleefly "episode." I meant to get the next installment out sooner, but alas, it was not to be. So, hopefully, soon.

...

Blaine wakes up screaming almost every night. It's the voices crying out in fear and panic and agony. And Cooper's right there, wiping his tears away and wrapping his arms around Blaine's trembling body. Cooper talks to him, reminds him of all the good times they had as children, and how he will always keep Blaine safe now. Cooper's voice soothes Blaine, and quiets the pained cries and harsh voices in his head. He even manages to get Blaine to fall back asleep.

Blaine gets lost sometimes. Not in the physical sense, but in his mind. He likes to wander the ship, likes how the drone of the engine drowns out the jarring sounds in his mind. But sometimes when he wanders, he starts to listen to the voices. He'll startle at the screams and cry with the sobs echoing between his temples. He'll hide when the voices are scared-crouching and covering his head behind a ventilation grate or amidst a pile of cargo bins-as if he could keep them from harm.

Cooper usually finds him. Sometimes Tina does, but Cooper is never far behind. He'll coax Blaine out and run his hands over his arms and head, making sure he's okay and trying to get Blaine to say something. Blaine sees the worry in his eyes, the tense lines on his forehead, and the darkness under his eyes. He tries harder to ignore the voices and stifle his screams, but that only lasts a few hours before he's pulled away again. And Cooper looks more and more worried.

Cooper's soothing words begin to fall away in the night before Blaine slips back into slumber, exhaustion taking its toll. Blaine lets silent tears fall then, wanting so much to be better but not able to will himself so. He knows Cooper is doing his best, but has no idea what he's doing. Blaine feels guilty for the burden he is to his brother.

One night he slips out from under Cooper's gentle hold and stealthily escapes their quarters. The voices have blissfully calmed, and Blaine takes in the darkened corridors and spaces with keen eyes. He stops in the common area and reminisces about Tina tugging him onto the couch to read or play a game together. He recalls Puck perched on a crate in the corner, always cleaning one of his weapons. He remembers Mercedes and Rachel arguing one hour then laughing riotously the next.

Blaine moves on to the mess hall, where he remembers meeting Quinn and her kind smile. Santana and Brittany are always there early in the morning, one usually in the other's lap as they sip their coffee with quiet chuckles and private smiles.

Blaine wants that-wants someone to hold close and be held by, to share secrets and smiles with, to love. He loves Cooper, he knows that. And Cooper's arms always feel comforting and warm. But it's different. Blaine has missed so much and he can't figure out how, but it is. He remembers going to the Academy at twelve, but his memories are jumbled and frayed, mixed in with memories that don't feel like his own. He's not sure what he's missing, but he knows it's a lot. Could he even have that with someone? What even is it?

He's in front of Santana and Brittney's door before he realizes. It makes sense to start here for what he's looking for. He presses his palm to the cool metal, sliding it slowly down the rivets on the edge to the handle. He knows it's locked, but it doesn't take long for him to discover the passcode-a series of five numbers that Brittany's fond of reciting are her favorites. He is through 43 of the 120 possible combinations when he gets the correct sequence.

The lock clicks open, the sound loud. Blaine is quiet, nearly silent, as he moves deftly through the door and down the ladder. He's light on his bare feet, still not fond of any footwear Cooper keeps trying to get on him. He likes the freedom-one less thing binding him and restricting him. Memories of straps holding him to a table flash into his mind and he blinks. They are gone quickly, but not before tripping his heart rate faster and hitching his breathing. Blaine presses his forehead to a ladder rung and takes a deep breath.

He turns around in the near darkness, only the dim light from the sink unit tucked into the wall casting a faint glow. Brittany and Santana are asleep on the small bed, bodies tucked together and sheet bunched loosely around them. Blaine watches them, sees from the way the sheet falls away from their torsos and lays smoothly over their legs that they are naked. He watches as Brittany murmurs in her sleep and Santana tightens the arm slung over her side and presses her nose against Brittany's neck.

Blaine pads over to the edge of the bed, watching their chests rise and fall in unison as the contrast of skin tones captures his attention. Their fingers are entwined between Brittany's breasts, their connection held safe and secure there.

He carefully lifts the sheet and slips onto the bed, tucking himself back against Brittany. She's warm and soft, and he feels her breath against his neck. Their hands move against his back and a leg slides between his ankles. Blaine closes his eyes and though sleep does not come quickly, it still comes.

...

"He's so cute."

"But what the hell is he doing here? And how did he get in here?"

Blaine blinks, hearing the hushed conversation behind him.

"He's harmless."

"He's crazy."

Blaine tenses and jumps up from the bed, turning gracefully back toward the women.

"San, look, you scared him," Brittany pouted. She sits up, holding the sheet in front of her.

"I scared him?" Santana shoots back as she too sits up, tugging a tank top on. "He's the one who showed up while we were sleeping."

When no one says anything, Santana asks pointedly, "Well, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I wanted to learn," Blaine says simply.

"What could you possibly learn from sleeping in the same bed with us?" Santana prods.

"I wanted to learn you," Blaine says earnestly. Brittany smiles at him.

"Well, whatever that means," Santana mutters. "You can learn us anywhere but here, got it?"

Blaine nods and swings up the ladder, up before Santana can get pants on. The door slides shut and the lock engages.

"We're going to need to change the code," Santana says with a shake of her head.

"Oh, I know just what I want it to be," Brittany chimes in cheerfully. Santana lets out an amused huff and smiles at the other woman.

...

Two nights later, Blaine lets Cooper fall asleep before him. He tucks the blanket around Cooper's shoulder and kisses his forehead, then sneaks out of their room and into Tina's quarters. The engine is loud here, a smooth thrumming with a dull rhythmic thumping coming from above. It's soothing and familiar, having spent many hours with Tina in the engine room watching her tinker and chat amicably. Blaine has to climb over the small bunk and Tina rouses, squinting over her shoulder as he tucks himself between her back and the wall.

"Blaine?" she asks sleepily.

"Hi," Blaine replies easily. He tugs the blanket up and settles an arm around Tina's waist.

"Well, it's not the Anderson brother I'd hoped for, but I'll take it," Tina murmurs and lays her head back down, sleep already reclaiming her.

Blaine doesn't quite understand her words so he stays up thinking about it as he listens to Tina's deep breathing and feels his arm moving with it. Her hair, loose on the pillow, tickles his cheek and she must have just washed her hair, because it smells of the floral soap she uses sparingly and lovingly. He scrunches his nose against the fragrance.

He slips back out before anyone awakens, sitting in the common area until Cooper comes looking for him.

...

Puck's door has three locks on it, and takes Blaine a little more time to open. A whole three minutes pass before the door fully unlocks. Blaine expertly steps over the trip wire just inside the door and around the various weapons stashed under the rug and next to discarded shoes. Puck is snoring loudly, deep in sleep, hugging a pillow. Blaine easily slides the pillow from his grasp and replaces it with himself. Puck mutters gruffly but doesn't rouse.

Blaine closes his eyes and settles in Puck's arms, rougher than Cooper's but still strong. He's aware of the hair on Puck's arms, and the way his arms encircle him fully. Blaine falls asleep.

...

"_Gǎo shén me guǐ!_" Puck shouts, sitting up and shoving Blaine clear off the bed. Blaine lands in a crouch and spins, recovering quickly and standing, though he has to blink the sleep from his eyes. Puck levels a gun at him, flipping the safety. Blaine turns and quickly hops his way back out of the room. Pucks scrambles up and, tripping over his own mess, yells out the door, "Gorram crazy _wángbā_ -."

...

"Morning," Tina greets cheerfully when she enters the mess. Brittany smiles at her and Santana tips her mug in greeting. She retrieves a cup of coffee and a bowl of rice porridge before sitting down next to Blaine.

"You okay, sweetie?" Tina asks. Blaine tips his cheek onto his knees, arms wrapped around his folded legs and held close to his chest. Tina looks at him quizzically for a moment before running her hand gently through his curls. Blaine closes his eyes and sighs.

"You can come sleep in my bunk anytime. Or the hammock in the engine room," Tina says kindly. Blaine opens his eyes and looks at her.

"But we want him to sleep with us," Brittany protests. Santana glares at her but Brittany ignores her. "Does Cooper talk in his sleep?"

Blaine shakes his head, and Tina speaks up, "Maybe he's lonely."

"And I thought we were special," Santana snarks, though her tone is soft.

"We are special," Brittany argues, eliciting a smile and kiss from Santana.

Tina leans closer to Blaine, "Just knock next time, okay?"

Blaine nods and his lips turn up in a small smile.


End file.
